Pairing

Adding clitoral stimulation to penetration is like having milk with cookies: both are good, but they’re so much better together. That’s what Pairing is: a woman or her partner touching her clit while she’s being penetrated—both are happening at the same time. For most women, the result is far more pleasure and better orgasms!

Why is Pairing so great?

More and Better Orgasms

Only 18% of women have orgasms from penetration on its own. Compare that to 73% that orgasm by Pairing (adding clitoral stimulation at the same time). And the resulting orgasms are more frequent and more pleasurable.

1+1=3 When they happen at the same time, clitoral and internal stimulation can actually amplify each other. They add up to more than the sum of their parts: bigger, fuller and more satisfying pleasure and orgasms.

Here’s why Kate loves pairing and was thrilled when her partner first brought it up to her. “Put the two together and… Fireworks”

Techniques

Making room to reach down

Previous generations usually thought of “sex” only as a penis going in and out. So the “sex positions” they handed down to us only took that into account. But now that we know 4x as many women come by Pairing, isn’t it time to rewrite what makes a good sex position?

The research shows the best positions make room for fingers or a vibrator to get into the action at the same time.

Cowgirl

Her on top, leaning back enough so there’s room for a hand on the clit

On the bed

Partner standing while she lays flat on the edge of the bed with her legs up, off the side or around the partner

Missionary

Missionary, her on her back, partner leaning up enough so there’s room for a hand on the clit

Spooning

Laying on sides (also called spooning) with her legs open enough so there’s room for a hand on the clit

Bonus Techniques

Heads up! This is a demonstration video, so it has explicit content.

Explicit

Jess

"Double circles"

Liz

"An electric addition"

Bringing it to the bedroom

GOOD TO KNOW

Redefining ’Sex’

Women sometimes write to us, concerned because they don’t orgasm during sex. The problem is most often with their definition of ‘sex’ as penetration on its own. Because 4x as many women orgasm with Pairing, we think it’s time to redefine ‘sex.’

Partners, Show Her You Love It

Our research showed that a partner suggesting the woman stimulate her clit (and vocally enjoying when she does) was the most helpful thing for women to move past fears and get into Pairing.

Pairing Partners = Better Lovers

Of 2,000 women who shared an opinion about it, 97% said partners who give attention to their clitoris by stimulating it during penetration make better lovers! NINETY-SEVEN PERCENT! If that’s not an incentive to try Pairing, we don’t know what is.

MOST COMMON CHALLENGES

Unlearning Assumptions

It can be hard to shake old assumptions, like that touching one’s own clit while with a partner is “masturbating” or somehow disrespectful to the partner. It’s worth realizing neither of these are based in fact! They’re just old ideas from previous generations that haven’t been good for anyone.

Coordinating Can Be Tricky

Unless you’re a professional drummer, trained to do two different things at once, it can be tough to sync up the two movements when Pairing. That can be really frustrating for women who like one soft and the other hard, or different speeds. Solutions: use a vibrator, have each partner do one, or practice practice practice!

Bringing it Up

If Pairing hasn’t been a part of a couple’s routine, it can feel uncomfortable to bring it up for the first time as something to try. A great strategy for either partner is to just take your partner’s hand during penetration and guide it to the clit, holding their finger, and beginning to rub it there.