Rocking overview

Why go out? Let’s stay in.

In-and-out penetration is kind of like arriving to a party and then immediately leaving, over and over again. Certainly most penises love in and out friction—but what makes for even more pleasure for most women is when the penis, finger, or toy remains inside without thrusting, allowing pleasure to build from constant, uninterrupted stimulation.

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Constant Contact for More Pleasure

For many women, the best way to increase pleasure is continuous clitoral stimulation—the kind that happens automatically when Rocking. Breaks in contact pause the stimulation and can have a ‘two steps forward, one step back’ effect. The longer the contact against the clit goes on, the more the pleasure can build and build.

“The less it’s moving in and out, the more my nerve endings seem to wake up.”

Rocking Techniques

Variation 1: Keeping The Seal On Top

Many women discover Rocking intuitively when on top during intercourse because they get delicious diffuse pressure from grinding the vulva and clit against their partner.

Some partners still try to thrust in-and-out from beneath, so women have developed a counter-move: leaning forward and taking weight off the knees so all the weight is on the pelvis to keep the seal.

Watch how Jessica discovered this rocking technique and had her first orgasm with a partner just by angling her hips in a new way

Variation 2: Shaking, Going In and Vibrating

Here, the fingers remain inserted while the hand moves in a quick, side-to-side or up-and-down movement that causes a kind of “vibrating” motion. Pleasure builds on both the inside and outside, as the palm vibrates against the clitoris while the fingers give the same stimulation to the interior walls.

Watch Elle’s favorite new technique that’s like “really fast pulsing”

Heads up! This is a demonstration video, so it has explicit content.

Explicit

Variation 3: How Slow Can We Go?

Someone wise once said Attraction + Obstacle = Excitement. And it’s often true. Couples report great pleasure from introducing rules or games like ‘who moves first?’ or ‘how slow can we go?’

With penetration all the way in, keeping constant contact, inevitably, one or the other can’t take it anymore and just HAS to move more. Another benefit of these games is they’re a fun way to introduce less stroking and more staying in.

How just ‘holding it there’ is a crazy shake and release for Valerie

Rocking Sex Positions

Pivoting

The area just above the penis/strap-on stays in contact with the clit and the top of the penis stays in contact with the upper ridge of the vagina. That part serves as a pivot point and, instead of the focus being on moving in and out, it’s on pivoting the area above the penis/ strap-on across the clit.

Rolling

Just like Pivoting, Rolling the hips in a circular motion is a great way to change things up from the old in and out. The area above the penis stimulates the clit in circular motions the whole time

Leg Wrapping

A favorite way to guide a partner to ‘stay in’ is wrapping legs around them and applying pressure. Like a bear hug that closes the gap and prevents in-and-out movement and gets all the lovely grinding against the clit. Genius! Play around with how high to wrap the legs till it works best.

Jane

"Holding on really tight"

Thigh High

Position so the partners thigh stays in constant contact with the vulva, and the penis/strap-on stays inside. Then rock the body in any direction that DOESN’T pull the penis/strap-on in and out.

Bringing it to the bedroom

GOOD TO KNOW

Pre-vibing

Many women who love vibrators find they can have orgasms during intercourse when they or their partner use their favorite vibrator to get really close to coming, then switch to their partner penetrating and staying in, moving in a way that keeps constant contact against the clit.

Feel the Seal

The surefire way to tell whether you’re staying in is whether there is ever any air between the clit area and the area just above the penetrating penis, hand, or toy.

Slow Penetration During Orgasm

While the actual orgasm is happening, the research shows 24% like the toy/finger/penis staying completely still. 35% like slight movement, but not in and out. 38% like very slight in and out movement. Try them all!

Good for Him, Too

There can be more pressure and friction on the penis using staying in techniques because the head and shaft can grind and push more against the inner walls as opposed to flying by them.

MOST COMMON CHALLENGES

Temptation to Thrust

For partners who are used to the in-out motion, staying-in can take a bit of getting used to and it can be really tempting to quit and resort to thrusting. A good way to start out is to agree to do a 10 minute experiment—and to actually set a timer. This can make it easier for some to give it a chance and experiment around with it—which means much higher likelihood of finding ways it feels amazing.

Moving the Body, Not the Hips

The ‘having sex’ hip motion in dance and popular culture is really a stroking, in-and-out motion. But staying in often requires different movements of the whole body swaying rather than hips pumping. Many find this works best by holding the bed/bedpost or gripping the foot of the bed with feet.

You Don’t Have to Move so Much

Because everything stays in contact, staying in can bring great pleasure with very slight actual motion. A good way to show a male partner is to squeeze his penis head and shaft tight and move it only slightly—see? Not a lot of motion and still intense feeling because there’s so much constant pressure.